Learning to Listen to Myself Again

Sometimes life has a funny way of teaching us the same lesson twice.

A few years ago, my husband and I made the decision to leave Sussex and move to Somerset. On paper, it seemed like the perfect next chapter. A slower pace of life, beautiful countryside, a fresh start.

We embraced the adventure wholeheartedly.

And while Somerset gave us many wonderful things, it also gave us something unexpected: clarity.

As the months passed, a quiet feeling began to grow. It wasn't dramatic or urgent. It was simply persistent. We missed Sussex.

Not just the familiar places, but something much deeper. The coastline. The community. The feeling of belonging. The sense that this was where we were meant to be.

For a while, I tried to reason with that feeling. Surely we just needed more time to settle? We made the move for good reason, no?

But the more I ignored it, the louder it became.

Eventually, over breakfast, we spoke our respective truths and low and behold we were on the same page. We’d both realised something simple but important: Sussex wasn't just where we lived. It was our home. Individually. And together.

So we listened. And we moved back home.

It took 12 very stressful months to make it all happen, and several near misses with our sale and the whole chain collapsing, but then in January 2025, two whole years after we moved away from Sussex (almost to the day!) we moved into our new home in Lancing, West Sussex.

What I didn't realise at the time was that this decision would become part of a much bigger lesson—one about learning to trust myself again.

Trust the Quiet Voice

Because around the same time, another internal voice had been quietly whispering in my ear.

The one that wondered what life might look like if I backed myself. Fully.

The one that knew there was something more waiting for me if I was brave enough to take the first step.

I wasn’t fully ready to listen to the voice, it took another year to really tune in. And when I started to feel a teensy weensy ounce of ready a course landed in my inbox - Medicine with Sister Stories UK. A course designed solely and soulfully to help support women with bringing their heart’s work to the world. Surely this was divine timing.

Over the next 6 weeks we were invited to explore what our heart is yearning for. To envisage, without fear and doubt, what it might feel like to bring it into the light. And half way through it hit me, head on. Like a sledgehammer made of love.

SUP & Soul needs a re-birth.

I dug deep, found my courage. And on 1st December 2025, I committed to backing myself and handed in my notice.

No grand masterplan. No perfectly mapped-out five-year plan - not even a 6 month plan. Just a deep knowing that it was time.

Time to back myself.

Time to trust.

Time to create a life and re-build a business that is aligned with who I am and what lights me up.

To say it was scary is an understatement. But I also knew that my future self would thank me for taking that first brave step.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a niggling feeling and need some gentle support to explore the niggle I highly recommend joining Medicine with Sister Stories - you can join the next course (starting 15 Jun 2026 for 4 weeks) by signing up here.

Following Joy Instead of Certainty

I had a three month notice period to work through and during that time I made it my mission to follow joy. And curiosity. And only do things that would make me feel alive again. To knock on doors and see what was on the other side.

And the universe greeted me with opportunity after opportunity. I kid you not - it was like my new found trust and belief in myself was attracting exactly what I needed without my even knowing it. The old saying of when one door closes another opens couldn’t be more true.

Within a month of resigning my paddle boarding governing body, Academy of Surfing Instructors, announced they were launching a new Blue Health for Watersports Instructors course and I was invited to Portugal for the annual AGM and to join the first cohort.

Of course, I said YES.

And I persauded the legendary Clare, my paddle buddy and fellow Water & Wellness co-host from 2021, to say a big fat yes and join me. So she did.

You may not be aware, but Portugal is where it all began - back in 2018 I trained with ASI as a paddle board instructor with no clue where it would take me next.

And now, 6 years later, here I am with new and old friends by my side, on the same training lake and ready to continue the journey.

**Left to right: Cami (me!), Sarah & Gemma of Whitby Ebb & Flow, Clare of Wild Ocean Soul and James of Wittering SUP**

The wonderful James of WitteringSUP took us on a learning journey to understand the science behind Blue Mind, first coined by Wallace J Nichols, author of Blue Mind and gave us some great tools, tips and techniques to offer our clients mindful moments on and off the water to disconnect, to be present and to deeply connect with our natural world. Bliss.

It was a magical four days.

When Another Door Closes

I then had a slight hiccup where my beloved and trusty steed Esmeralda, (my van and paddleboard carriage), died a death. After 6 years by my side she said no, Cami, I can’t join you on this next part of your journey. But I wish you well and in my place I leave you Bobliana - who I know will look after you well and take you exactly where you need to go, every time.

Miraculously, Another Door Opens

Unbeknownst to me, Andy - my wonderful husband and absolute rock, a person I respect and admire and am so lucky and grateful to have walk beside me in this lifetime - already had a replacement van waiting in the wings. He knew what I wasn’t willing to admit to myself. Esmeralda just wasn’t up to the job anymore. She needed to retire. Thank you for everything - yes, even all the breakdowns. Of which there were many! She always kept me safe, managing to sputter on just enough to get us off the busy roads and into safer spots to call for help. Goodbye Esme. Sob.

And now to welcome Bobliana! Who I hope will take just as much care of me and my kit and, dare I say it, breakdown a lot less.

In the Beginning there was only Sound

Back in 2024 I started my sound healing journey and went on a foundation course in Frome, Somerset with the Sound Healing Academy. I didn’t have the time to continue this learning at the time because we were so busy trying to move back to Sussex.

But then, fast forward to February 2026 - I did a little digging and would you believe, there was one last space left on the level 2 course running in Brighton with the wonderful soul Siobhan Swider. So of course. I said YES.

I went on a magical 5 day sound healing course which was so much more than a course. We were taken on the most incredible journey of sound, learning, practicing, experiencing and changing. And now I’m in the process of completing the year long Level 2 training and holding my own practice sound baths and collaborating with other awesome sound healers like Hayley of Crystal and Sound and my very own sister, Maria Todd of Creativate You.

Oh. And amassing a rather impressive collection of instruments whilst I’m at it.

**Hosting my first large group sound bath in West Sussex**

The most recent training upgrade I said a big YES to is the Nature Facilitation course and Facilitation Lab both with Change in Nature and the beautiful souls - Chloe and Andy.

This experience is genuinely life changing. I’ve learned so much about working with nature, for nature and in nature. My retreat days are all nature connection focused, and designed around the cycles of nature. Each retreat day weaves in magic - taken from the learnings, experiences, ideas and inspiration from this course and being immersed in nature itself. It’s not an experience I can easily describe for two reasons.

One. It’s such a magical experience and part of what makes it so magical is in the not knowing. Not knowing too much about the course itself. Not knowing exactly what you’ll learn. And not knowing exactly how you’re going to turn up for yourself in the moment. Simply trusting it’s the right place for you to be at that exact moment in time. That’s where the magic lies.

Two. There is simply too much to say. It would fill a novel. And I don’t have the time to write a novel. So if you’re intrigued go read more here and then DO IT YOURSELF.

Building a Life That Feels Aligned

In March 2026, I officially stepped out of the world of employment and into the world of running my own business.

Through SUP & Soul, I not only teach people to paddle board in a safe, fun and nuturing environment. I also run a series of Water & Wellness Retreats that combine a mix of paddle boarding and nature connection with sound healing, wild swimming, yoga, sauna and cold plunging to help people restore mind, body and soul. It's a space designed to help people slow down, reconnect and experience the incredible healing power of blue spaces and the natural world.

Alongside this, I will continue to honour and use my marketing skills to support small businesses, female founders and purpose-first organisations - basically anyone who specialises in health & wellbeing, adventure travel, meaningful and responsible travel and transformative travel. Because that’s where my passions lie.

I'm lucky enough to work with two incredible responsible adventure travel clients - both wholeheartedly committed to creating better travel experiences and having a positive impact on the communities they serve. Working alongside these clients is exactly the kind of work I hoped I'd find when I made the big leap. Whilst also building my own business that combines health and wellbeing with transformative, meaningful and responsible travel adventures immersed in nature. The perfect combo.

What's Coming Up

A busy summer season hosting Water & Wellness retreats here in West Sussex and Surrey. Providing paddle boarding beginner and progression lessons for new and returning clients alike.

And practising my new sound healing skills on anyone who'll have me!

Oh, AND - I'm in the early planning stages for hosted SUP Adventures in Norway and Slovenia in 2027. While bookings aren’t yet open you can join the waitlist and be the first to hear when bookings open up.

The Thread That Connects It All

As I reflect on everything that's happened over the past year, I'm struck by how connected it all feels.

Moving away.

Coming home.

Leaving employment.

(Re)Starting a business.

Following the things that bring me joy.

Each decision required the same thing: trust.

Trust that not every answer needs to be known in advance.

Trust that intuition deserves a seat at the table.

Trust that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is listen to ourselves and take that first step.

Is there something niggling you? Whispering to you? Calling you to listen to yourself and trust?

If I can help the voice get louder and support you in your journey of following your heart just reach out. I’m always happy to listen and support others on the same journey.

What might happen if you back yourself?